Relationship Tips
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Relationship Tips
We do hard talks on a walk
by Maria, Tierrasanta
If we’re tense, we grab the dog and walk the block. One person talks for five minutes while the other repeats back the main point to be sure they heard it. No phones. No bringing up three old fights. We don’t go back inside until each of us says one small thing we’ll do different this week. It keeps things from turning into a late-night blowup.
Our teen talks more in the car
by Kim, Calle de Vida
At home, my son gives one-word answers. In the car, with music on and me looking at the road, he opens up. I ask small questions like “Who was funny today?” not “How was school?” If he vents, I ask, “Do you want me to listen or help?” Half the time he just wants me to listen. Our fights dropped way down.
Intimacy, Massages and a Month of "Yes"
by L.R., Tierrasanta
My husband pitched a plan I swore I’d hate: for one month, we’d both say “yes” to intimacy and to massages—and... we had do it with a good attitude, either of us would have 1 (day long) veto a week—held firm. The rule was attitude matters: when we said yes, it had to be warm and loving, not a grumpy checkbox. He sweetened it with mandatory upgrades: shower before bed, whiten teeth, exercise together 3X a week, and actually put better snacks in the fridge so we stop pretending we’ll eat healthy “tomorrow.” I rolled my eyes. He joked, “Just try it… for 10 years?” We settled on 30 days. Here’s the twist: I’m happier. He’s gentler and more affectionate. I feel more relaxed, and the dumb fights don’t last. He gives way more massages than he gets, and he’s trying to make it fun, not a chore. The “yes” turned out to be about effort and affection, not a scorecard. And when (he) uses the veto, I still respect him. Is it for everyone? Maybe not. But for us, the combination of kindness, hygiene (who knew!), and a shared plan made home feel lighter. We kept the habits after the month. Happier, cleaner, kinder, closer. If you try it, make your own rules, vetos (optional), and focus on warmth over perfection. It might just surprise you!